Today I told my mother my doctor thinks there is a chance I have bipolar. As soon as I told my mom this she just seemed crushed. I can only imagine what she was thinking; that she failed as a parent, she didn't raise me well, or provide me with everything I needed growing up. Even though I told her there's nothing she could have done differently, I could just tell she felt defeated. She was asking me if there's anything she could be doing differently now, I told her no. There really isn't. At least I don't think so. I can't imagine any changed would affect how I feel or how my brain is "wired".
I've thought before that I may have bipolar, but I've always reasoned with myself that I probably don't and just forgotten about it. I was diagnosed by my family doctor with clinical depression 7 years ago, so I always thought it probably is just depression not bipolar.
It was about two weeks ago at my last appointment my doctor said he thinks I may have bipolar. He has referred me to the best psychiatrist in my city, and I am so grateful for that. This is my chance to finally find out for sure what is wrong with me, and also get the right prescription for me.
